THE PINK ONE 1

1

I was very fond of jellied cels, cockles and winkles and fish and chip shops. She was not.

“Take them to him”, she said.

“Bring them to me”, I said.

“Read it to me!”, my niece said.

“Get to the point”, the reader said.

So it was entirely up to me.

2

Business-wise, a conference centre is a great idea but parting is such sweet sorrow!

“Keep up the good work”, my ex wife said.

“What are you planning to do?”, I said.

“So far, so good”, she said.

“When buying fabric for curtains, you have to allow for an extra 5 centimetres for hems”.

“You are right”, I said. “The sooner we get it over with, the better”.

3

He had been up and doing. All my effort went down the drain.

“You don’t mean to say that he’s settled down at last. You must be joking or you will have your little joke or you’re pulling my leg or you’re having me, aren’t you? No, seriously though. I must be dreaming. Pinch me somebody. Well I’m darned or well I’am blowed. Wonders will never cease. Well I’ll go to the foot of our stairs.

4

Young people are often thoughtless without meaning to be:

“I took it for granted the salary you quoted was net”.

“They made me do it”.

5

“Supper will be ready in a tick” (VOICE OVER).

“For the time being, I’m happy living alone” (ME).

“We’ll have to sort out all those papers” (SHE).

They seem have sorted out their problems.

6

Bomb scare at Kennedy Airport.

I’m not in the mood for seeing people.

The children are very quiet.

I wonder what they’re up to?

His spell of duty was almost up.

We got down in earnest to each other.

Years before I’d been down an out.

The firm started to go downhill.

He himself was soon down to his last penny.

His family was convinced it was all up with him.

I’d been sold down the river.

Good heavens good gracious good grief golly.

I’m sorry I don’t quite follow.

7

That song reminds me of my first love

whatever the weather may be like.

I enjoy messing about in boats.

Needless to say I always use the stairs.

8

My word you frightened the living daylights out of me. Goodness me, you almost made me jump out of my skin. How you startled me. You know, you gave me quite a turn. If you go round creeping about like that anymore, you’ll frighten someone to death.

9

It’s useful to have a few phrases at the ready:

a)What do you want to do when you grow up?

b)How long will it take?

10

You could have knocked me down with a feather. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. My stomach turned right over. I went all weak at the knees.

11

“What’s the scoop?”.

You’ll be glad to know that everything was ok.

12

It was thoughtful of them to send flowers.

“This gesture seemed to go down well.

We had quite a chat. I didn’t quite trust her”.