lunes, 25 de febrero de 2008


I read in In Madrid the article Three Great Dates for Valentine's Day, by Pritheeva Rasaratnam. It turns to be a good source to learn a lot of idioms and words:
1.If you are "strapped for cash" es que andas corto de dinero.
2."To be a little pampered" es que te mimen un poquito.
3."Blame it on Lionel Ritchie". Échale la culpa a Lionel Ritchie. ¡Y a José Luis Perales!
4."The most hapless of suitors". El más desgraciado de los pretendientes. Seguro que mordía...
5."Soulful jazz"= enternecedora, conmovedora música de jazz. Me encanta esta expresión. Me hace pensar en el soul como alma del jazz.
6.Humbug! = ¡Paparruchas! Como diría Míster Scrooge.
7."Let your imagination run riot"= Da rienda suelta a tu imaginación. ¡Arre!...
8."An innocuous building a stone's throw from the Opera House"= Es decir, un edificio a tiro de Stone (MICK o KEITH) de la Ópera.
9."A discerning customer"= Un cliente exigente. Un imbécil, seguro...
10."Your average bar" = Tu bar de siempre. El "Ricla", en la calle Cuchilleros.

11.Fittings= Accesorios. Esta palabra sobra, ya lo sé.


In UK most of people has a very keen sense of humor. A band was named after the UB40 (Unemployment Benefit, Form 40). However, there are names that are not at all funny. I am thinking of B-29 Enola Gay. Anyway, it deserved a song by OMD. I mean... Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. When I think of this name, I can't help seeing myself in the dark of a cinema kissing my first love. The atom bomb of reality is falling outside.

viernes, 22 de febrero de 2008


The first words I learned from English were Yes and No. From one word to another there was un unknown but fascinating world. So I decided to look for more words. Where? Of course, in the books. At first, I read a lot of best-sellers. Children of Tender Years, by Ted Allbeury, for example, was very useful to me. These are some of the words I learned from it:
8.Dirt cheap
10.Cigar box

Of course, I used those words to make up a brief tale:
"It was a luminous spring morning, but the soil was soggy. In tune with that, I felt upset and displeased. With tears in my eyes, I took my dirt cheap cigar box out from my pocket and lit a cigarette. When I got in the tearoom, she started playing her cello".


Jarring: Discordante. No se puede aplicar, sin embargo, a las composiciones de Jean Michel Jarre.
Crab: Cangrejo. Crabs: Ladillas. La pluralidad no siempre es buena.
The Mob: La Mafia. Moby Dick: La ballena mafiosa de los mares del sur. Esa ballena era la polla (dick). But that is a different kettle of fish.

A blank question means "una pregunta directa". So, would you like to marry me?
SHE: I would if you didn't wear tank tops. Your armpit smells like herring.
ME: Sorry?
SHE: I was just trying to divert your boredom.
ME: In that case, why don't you go to hell?
SHE: Ok... You are out of humor.
ME: Not exactly, but I’m not in the mood for jokes. Besides, my proposal of marriage was sincere.
SHE: Oh, I see... Well. I accept it.

miércoles, 20 de febrero de 2008


It is more than a movie by Woody Allen. I met you last summer. You were my teacher and I was your devoted student. You said I had pronounced the word success perfectly well. But we are both losers. You are a cute-cool painter who is drifting far from her crenelated country, and I am a wanderer writer without homeland and flag. I wonder if you would like to share the next trip to nowhere with me.

lunes, 18 de febrero de 2008


I went with my uncle Mariano and my cousins Ana & Inesita to the premiere of Grease. It was in 1978. Since then, this movie has been one of my favourite films. Of course, it is uncool if you are a fan of Bergman as I am myself. But this movie has had as influence on my life and artistic taste as The Seven Seal.
I know almost note by note Grease soundtrack. But I never understood well its lyrics.
Now, you can compare what I understood then from You're the One That I Want and what the lyrics really mean.

TRAVOLTA: I got chills. / They're multiplyin'. / And I'm losin' control.
ME AS A CHILD: I catch you / this maladjustment. / And I'm blue as a troll.

TRAVOLTA: 'Cause the power you're supplyin', / it's electrifyin'! /
ME AS A CHILD: Close the flower with a player. / It's Alan being fire.

OLIVIA: You better shape up*, / 'cause I need a man / and my heart is set on you.
ME AS A CHILD: You Bernstein pop / cozy needle / and my heart is zero on you.

OLIVIA: You better shape up; / you better understand / to my heart I must be true.
ME AS A CHILD: You Bernstein pop / you Bernstein tampax / to my heart I must be cruel.

TRAVOLTA: Nothin' left, nothin' left / for me to do.
ME AS A CHILD: Nothingness, nothingness / for mink to do.

TRAVOLTA AND OLIVIA: You're the one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want(you are the one i want want), o, o, oo. / The one I need. / Oh, yes indeed.
ME AS A CHILD: Joan of Arc that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo. / The Joan I miss. / Oh, yes indie.

OLIVIA: If you're filled with affection / you're too shy to convey, / meditate in my direction. / Feel your way.
ME AS A CHILD: If you feel witty fashion / you're two sides two obey, / mayday taste in my deception. / Free George's way.

TRAVOLTA: I better shape up, / 'cause you need a man
OLIVIA: who can keep me satisfied.
ME AS A CHILD: I Bernstein pop / 'cause jonny a mum / who can kill me satisfied.

TRAVOLTA: I better shape up / if I'm gonna prove
OLIVIA: You better prove that my faith is justified.
ME AS A CHILD: I Bernstein pop /is Angola proof / you Vader proof that my face is just a face.

TRAVOLTA: Are you sure?
TRAVOLTA & OLIVIA: Yes, I'm sure down deep inside.
ME AS A CHILD: Are you sugar? Yes, I'am sugar dandy side.

TRAVOLTA AND OLIVIA: You're the one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want (you are the one i want want), o, o, oo, honey. / The one that I want(you are the one i want want), o, o, oo. / The one I need. / Oh, yes indeed.
ME AS A CHILD: Joan of Arc that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo, Johnny. / Joan that I want (Joan of Arch I want want), o, o, oo. / The Joan I miss. / Oh, yes indie.

*Shape up or ship out!= ¡O entras en vereda o te largas!


I would have never seen Friends if I hadn't had to learn English. I am very fond of this series now, almost a fan. It is really good for practise English and learn a lot of idioms.
Let's see the pilot:

ROSE: Stop cleansing my aura.

Of course, Rose is not talking about "spiritual cleansing". Later, he says: "Why does everyone keep fixating on that?".
I think he means: "Come on, guys. Let me alone. My pregnant wife is in love with another woman. You are true friends of mine, I know... but don't nag me all the time".

JOEY: Strip joints!

In Joey's opinion, Rose should pay for a private strep-tease rather than to depress himself. Let alone the literal sense, it is an invitation to look on the bright side of the road.

RACHEL: I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry. And then I really freaked out.

Rachel alucinó (She freaked out). I think the word freak is as freaky in English as in Spanish.

RACHEL: I didn't know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart.

I like this word a lot. To drift is "ir a la deriva, sin rumbo". Neil Young sings Comes a time when you're driftin'.
In this case, it means: "distanciarse".

ROSE (To RACHEL): You probably didn't know this, but back in high school I had a major crush on you.

To have a crush on somebody means "estar chiflado por alguien".
I have an orange crush from time to time.

viernes, 15 de febrero de 2008


A preguntas necias, respuestas sordas. Pero a veces no te queda más remedio que contestar cuando un desconocido te aborda en medio de la calle y te pregunta:
-Do you know where Tom has gone?
And you reply him:
-I don't, I am sorry. Anyway, it is easy to find out.... But before looking for him, I will tell you a story... I first met Tom shortly after he released his one hit wonder Sex Bomb. "Sexbomb, sexbomb, you're my sexbomb. And baby you can turn me on*". In those days, he wasn't in love with anyone. So he felt horribly unhappy. You could find him in some dirty bar drinking till the break of day. One of those alcoholic nights I approached him. "Dear Tom. I don't want to have your autograph, but I wouldn't refuse a cup from you". "Sure, not problem" (Tom's answer). That first cup was the beginning of a beautiful friendsip**.

It's very common either in English or Spanish to speak more than you should. Esta historia lo demuestra.

*Love has two parts:
First... "Baby, you turn me on".
Later... "You drive me crazy, honey".

**"Let's go for a sip, Tom!"


Juanito el Oscuro is very fond of Matrix and The Lord of The Rings. He despises bigotry and greed.
Bigotry means fanatismo e intolerancia. Hitler llevaba bigote.

RCV doesn't want anything to do with fibbers.

Fibber means cuentista. I like this expression: The Fibber's Tale.

Merry Li is my dearest chinese friend. She knows choosing the softest words. The subject of her last e-mail was: FLUTTER.
Her words are birds and butterflies fluttering to my heart.

jueves, 14 de febrero de 2008


I true friend of mine said to me last night: "¡Qué de phrasal verbs y false friends!".
Es curioso que un amigo verdadero hable de "amigos falsos", ¿no?
Anyway, he is right. Loco English is based on false friends and phrasal verbs in a 70 %.
Of course, false friends here are deliberate.
Anyway, I prefer a true friend who uses false friends to a false friend who speaks English perfectly.

miércoles, 13 de febrero de 2008


If you are not in love, you necessarily are out of love.


MALL is una alameda, un paseo, una calle peatonal.
LP recommended: Alameda, by Alameda (1979)
MALL is un centro comercial.
Film recommended: Mallrats, by Kevin Smith (1995)
BADDISH es bastante malo, más bien malo.
Film recommended: The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, by Tobe Hooper (1974)
BADGER es un tejón, pero también acosar, atormentar (para obtener algo).
Film recommended: Gaslight, by George Cukor (1944)


Singsong= Monótono, cantarín. // Salmodia, sonsonete. // concierto espontáneo.

The Simpson's singsong. On February, 1st. Don't miss out!!!
Interpretarán su one hit wonder Make Up Song

Make up es inventar.
But you are making it up! Puro cuento.
Make up es fabricar, reunir una colección, incluso empaquetar.
Make up es redactar (una lista).
Make up es reponer, es compensar.
Make up a quarrel with somebody / Make it up with somebody= Hacer las paces.
But MAKE UP is echar carbón.
Make up is pintarse, maquillarse.
¡Mira ahora, mira ahora, mira ahora, ya puedes mirar!
Pero no me pidas que te traduzca la "resulta" (if you are a Mecano fan. I am not)


Pop up= Aparecer inesperadamente. Paul MacCartney popped up in a pop concert. Redundant singer...
Pop off= Estirar la pata. John Lennon hizo "pop off".
Popish= Papista, católico. George Harrison was more popish than the majara Maharishi.
Pop-eyed= De ojos saltones. Ringo Starr was Popeye. I mean, Pop-eyed...
Popsi= Chica. Beatlemania. Pepsi has just purchased "My girl" rights for its next commercial.
Poppycock!= ¡Tonterías! The Rolling Stones are much better than The Beatles.
Pop in= Entrar de sopetón. Waiter!!! There is a Mick Jagger in my soup!!!
Pop-up toaster= Tostador automático. Keith Richard reminds me of a pop-up toaster. De hecho, sus riffs de guitarra, así como su pelo, parecen recién salidos de la tostadora.
Poplar= Chopo, álamo blanco. The Poplar was a popular one hit wonder during the sixties.
To pop pills= Drogarse con pastillas. Mary Pop-pills. I can't say anymore...


El inglés me vuelve loco. I am crazy about English.
Siempre he estudiado inglés a salto de mata. I had always been studying English hand to mouth.
Escribo inglés mejor que lo hablo. Are you sure, Enrique?
I am not sure about what is sure in English... Pero...

De eso se trata, de volverse loco con el inglés, de jugar y, de paso, de aprender todo el inglés que podamos aunque sea a lo loco. You know... My parents didnt' send me abroad when I was fourteen. They wanted me to be a peasant... It is a joke. They hadn't enough money.

Welcome to Loco English!